


Treed

by Alexicon



Series: The “Andy Needs a Freaking Break” Verse [3]
Category: Batman - All Media Types, DCU
Genre: Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-13
Updated: 2016-04-13
Packaged: 2018-06-02 00:29:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 962
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6543031
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alexicon/pseuds/Alexicon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ever heard of a dog up a tree?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Treed

Okay, it really, really wasn’t Andy’s fault this time. He was just _grocery shopping_. Not exactly malicious, unless you counted the fact that he was going to inflict his cooking on some of his unsuspecting friends later. But no, really, there was nothing bad about grocery shopping. There was no justice involved here, there was no _comeuppance_. He hadn’t done anything.

That didn’t mean he could ignore the fact that there was a Batkid and a dog up in a tree in the park.

“Uh, kid? You okay?” Andy asks tentatively. It’s the tiniest one, Robin, cradling a dog (about the same size as the child holding it) to his chest. Andy’s pretty sure the kid could’ve gotten down and back up again a dozen times in the few moments Andy’s been watching if it weren’t for the dog.

“Keep walking,” the kid hisses. “I appreciate the” -- a breath puffs out of him as he pushes at the dog’s side -- “the _sentiment_ , but it is unnecessary.”

And here Andy’d thought he’d never meet anyone as prideful as his sister Jo. Of all the things he thought he wouldn’t have to deal with today.

He sets his grocery bags down a ways away, because this nonsense is not going to crack his eggs, okay?

“Look, kid, I doubt you have a dog harness in that belt of yours to lower him down,” Andy says, because, _obviously_ , the kid would’ve used it by now if he did.

Robin looks like he takes it as a personal failing that he _doesn’t_ carry a harness around, though. Andy sighs, quietly enough that the boy probably won’t hear and throw a stick or whatever’s in that belt at him, and tries to think of a new plan of attack.

“I can’t see a way for you to get down from there with just your feet, I’m sorry.” Andy’s not sorry. The kid could’ve been down ages ago if he hadn’t been stubborn. Still, he’d probably get murdered by Robin or at least terrified to death by Batman later if he said that out loud, so Andy’s playing it safe and keeping quiet.

Robin looks down, or at least _tries_ to over the dog’s furry body, and frowns even harder than he was before. Then the dog protests this movement by making a bid for freedom, because apparently the creature has no sense of self-preservation, or any concern for his poor tree-buddy who happens to be the only thing keeping them both safe up there.

“ _Very. Well_ ,” Robin huffs, struggling with his armload.

Wonder of wonders, the kid actually agreed.

“All right,” says Andy, bracing himself. “What do you call him, by the way?”

Robin hesitates, then spits out, “Batdog,” like it’s something he put in his mouth before he realized it was moldy and also tasted like Brussels sprouts.

The dog whines and tries to sit down on the branch under them. Robin makes a strangled noise and grabs _Batdog_ tighter.

Andy’s pretty damn sure that’s not the dog’s actual name, but who’s he to argue? He’s only the guy about to get a dog dropped on -- oh, fuck.

“Hang on!” he shouts, swearing internally and fumbling his coat off. “Hang on hang on hang on.”

“ _Are you catching him or no_?” the kid demands, nearly shrieking it at him.

Andy winces, because _wow_ Robin’s voice carries, but manages to get his coat to cover his hands and arms enough, because dogs have claws and that is one _big_ puppy up there.

“I’m catching him!” Andy calls finally, smiling sheepishly even though Robin’s not looking anymore, and holds his arms up, feeling ridiculous. “In position!” (That does not make him feel less ridiculous, damn it.)

The kid grumbles something Andy doesn’t catch, but can’t decipher it because there’s suddenly an enormous dog flying at him from above. Andy did not accurately judge this thing’s size, apparently, because it is _much_ bigger than he’d thought.

Andy goes down like a sack of bricks.

But hey, at least the dog’s all right, as he learns when he looks up. Robin’s already on the ground, cooing sweetly at the giant thing which might actually be a bear pretending to be a dog. Andy’s not sure, he’s never seen a real bear before. Although if he _is_ a bear, _Batdog_ is doing a pretty good job at pretending, because he is licking the kid’s face like it’s made of pizza.

And the kid -- Robin is smiling. He’s actually smiling. That is a little bit terrifying, but Andy wishes he had a camera that wouldn’t take a few minutes of embarrassing wriggling on the ground to get out of his pocket.

He contemplates just lying there for a few hours until his dignity (ha) recovers until he remembers his _groceries_. Oh, god, and there are cookies in there. _Chocolate_ cookies. If he has to wrestle cookies away from a dog... okay, if he has to wrestle cookies away from this dog, he’d lose, and then both of them would die. The dog because chocolate is bad for dogs (it is, right? He’s pretty sure) and Andy because there is no way he’d survive both the battle for the cookies with the dog and then Robin’s wrath afterwards.

“I have to go,” Andy blurts out, sitting on the pavement cross-legged. Robin doesn’t look at him, so Andy takes it as permission to leave and starts gathering his bags.

“Thank you,” he hears, quiet as a whisper. When he turns around, Robin and _Batdog_ are running off in the other direction, toward Newtown.

“Any time, kid,” Andy murmurs, not sure if he’d want the kid to take him up on it or not.

It doesn’t matter, though. Robin can’t hear him anyway.

(He thinks.)

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on [tumblr](http://lexiconallie.tumblr.com)!


End file.
